This week brought the surprise retirement of JFK’s nephew, Patrick Kennedy, from Congress. I’ve always been mildly fascinated with the Kennedy clan, and the absence of a Kennedy in the Federal Government for the first time since 1946 strummed the chords of nostalgia. Included in that chorus was a recollection of my lone trip to the Bay State to visit the Family C on Cape Cod. During my visit, I treated my hosts to my venerable JFK impression incessantly on an unsolicited basis. Alas, my audience dubbed my parody with less than glowing reviews and criticized it as sounding like a “Robot JFK”.
The unenthusiastic, though slightly bemused, feedback left me undeterred and my “Robot JFK” could be heard frequently throughout the visit, reaching it’s zenith in Hyannis Port as we searched in vain for the famed Kennedy compound. My family, brother and sisters all, but most prominently my father, own a genetic quirk which prevents us from walking away from a joke, even after it’s long dead. This led me to suggest that our family crest should be that of a man beating a dead horse. Two and a half years after “Robot JFK” should have died a less than honorable death, I’m here to beat that horse one last time in the name of family honor. This link by two history professors — collectively referred to as “the Professor Brothers” definitively establishes that JFK was, in fact, a robot. That’s right: John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the 35th President of the United States of America was a robot. The proof of JFK’s android origins appears toward the end of this very funny video (language warning).