Daily Archives: 22 December 2010

Rich Whitey!

How did I miss this one?! It’s not from The Onion, although it reads like it is. But you just can’t make up this stuff.

Back in October in the lovely state of Illinois, the name of Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney was misspelled Rich Whitey (sans “n”) on electronic-voting machines in 23 wards. Apparently many of these wards are populated by predominantly African-American voters. Here’s a short goof-piece on the story from The Gawker.

Candidate’s Name Misspelled as ‘Rich Whitey’ on Black-District Ballots

Poor Illinois Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney, the victim of an extremely cartoonish “error:” His name has been misspelled as “Rich Whitey” on voting machines in nearly two dozen Chicago wards, half of them “predominantly African-American.”

The most prudent, responsible course of action with this story, we believe, is to ignore forthcoming facts, ask zero questions, and just run with the fun and easy conspiracy theory.

The Illinois governor’s race could be very close. And Democratic operatives everywhere tend to be at their most ruthless when trying to destroy, or remove from the ballot entirely, vote-stealing Green party candidates in state races. Illinois has the most corrupt politics in America, and Chicago is the most corrupt political city in Illinois. “Rich Whitey.” Black-majority districts. C’mon, now. And they say they can’t do anything to fix this misspelling before Election Day! This is so obviously a conspiracy, maybe.

Rich Whitney knows what’s up!

The snafu, however, has Whitney contemplating legal action to force a fix.

“I don’t want to be identified as ‘Whitey.’ If this is happening in primarily African-American wards, that’s an even bigger concern,” Whitney told the Chicago Sun-Times. “I don’t know if this is machine politics at play or why this happened.”

See? Now the Democrat can call Whitney a crazy conspiratorial hippie nutjob, for making such wild accusations. All part of the plan.

Or maybe some city worker just forgot to type “n” one time.

Meh, the conspiracy theory is better.